the sinner in me
2009 Resolutions
Keep studying
Be a great boyfriend, and a good son
Be more all-rounded
Stop shrinking and start growing again
Be able to answer to myself
My Second Wind
I fear stagnation and lack of progress. I fear never reaching my potential and being average. I fear being forgotten. The past. Yesterday's news. I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night. I fear letting those I love down, letting myself down. I fear settling, giving in to the "that's just the way it is" mindset. I fear dying without leaving my mark. I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along. These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.
I love my fear.
i came home from camp briefly today to find the poster she gave me last year lying on the floor, just below where i had stuck it on the wall previously. it's the laminated poster of a vaguely androgynous toddler with the caption "why look at the scenery when you can look at me?". i remember she bought it from toys 'r' us a year or so back.
the fallen saint left at 7:24 pm
me in three words: overworked and underpaid.
the fallen saint left at 8:07 pm
Sunday, August 28, 2005
coincidence
i can't help but think it's a bit representative of where we stand now.. i didn't put it back up. i see no point in doing it, unless we ever get back together.
every day is a struggle - but i'm still winning.
Friday, August 26, 2005
injured slave
i'll have had two sundays burnt after the coming weekend, no thanks to live firing sentry duty that's been allocated to the innocent, unsuspecting OOCs so unfortunate to have found themselves in SOA. and i'm basically covering the asses for those who'll be posted out come monday. like, hello, i'm human too, you know, and i have a family that i'd like to spend time with. plus, my dad's birthday's in the past week, and i've yet to celebrate it with him.
the past week has been extremely taxing for us as it is, and to heap this on us further is a tad too much for me to take. everyone's tired and we all need a good weekend break to refresh ourselves. and even that, we can't have. so what exactly do we deserve from the army? i hate this army for the crap it puts you through, and no, it serves no function in building character, because this is meaningless duty and i'm not a trainee. if you were to hand me a rifle and have me get down to proper training, i'd be more than happy to, but to put me on sentry duty for consecutive sundays is absolutely ludicrous and short of toeing the line, i will not stand for that.
i can't wait to get my overused ass out of armour. fuck the god damn singapore army.